Almost doesn’t count..

“…..Almost made you love me, almost made you cry

Almost made you happy, baby, didn’t I, didn’t I?

You almost had me thinking you were turned around

But everybody knows, almost doesn’t count……”

The above is the opening verse to Brandy’s song titled “Almost doesn’t count.”

PHASE I:

Wednesday, August 3rd, 2016.

I wake up rather late for the test. Anyway, who cares? Aptitude tests have always been a piece of cake to me, or rather, as easy as ABC. I had always longed for that day that I shall step into PWC towers, and that day had come only that I was not going to PWC. Mark you, I had attempted the PWC aptitude test, and I failed, and it became the first one in my life that I had ever failed.

 

PWC Towers at Waiyaki Way, Westlands, Nairobi.

Image Credits: SkyscraperCity

So today I am at the PWC towers on a different mission but the same agenda – to get employed. I had almost given up on the company because I had applied for the vacancy over two months ago and there was no communication from them regarding whether they had received my application. However, right now, all that is in the past. At least, I am glad that I have been invited for the first phase of recruitment.

I enter the fully packed room at exactly 8.47 a.m. At the reception, I can spot a tough looking security guard. If he were an American, he would simply pass for an ex-Navy Seal. There seemed to be no trace of warmth around him as I approached the reception desk.

“Confirm your name on this list and sign against it,” he commanded (I must use the word “command” by virtue of his description).

I manage to locate my name, and I append my signature with the utmost confidence. It seemed like I was signing a 221 million cheque (if you know what I mean, heheh) written in my favor. I then proceed to the next room as I await further instructions.

So we are like 100 contestants. I can spot schoolmates and classmates from campus. We exchange pleasantries and our conversations center on tarmacking.

“Ata wewe bado unatarmack?” One of them asks inquiringly.

“Hivyo ndio kunaendanga, heheh,” I mutter sarcastically.

In two shakes of a lamb’s tail, our conversations and interactions are cut short by a lady’s modulated voice from the sound system within the building. We are instructed to take all our luggage into a separate room and get ready for the test.

“Who carries luggage to an aptitude test?” I ask myself sardonically.

Surely, who does that? (In DJ Shiti’s voice).

DJ Shiti of The Real Housewives of Kawangware.

Image Credits: Mpasho

After the preparation commotion is over, we enter a room full of computers and sophisticated workstations. Oooh! Where have you been all my life?

A day trader’s workstation.

Image Credits: desktopped.com

Immediately, I begin to see myself trading behind one of the workstations. Swiftly, I move from dreamland into reality. The reality is that I have to pass the aptitude and probably three face-to-face interviews before I live my dream of trading behind one of the machines.

Traders office set-up.

Image Credits: Cosmotech

We then sit behind the computers. We are then issued with passwords to the aptitude system. Then a plump lady walks into the room. She is wearing a brown official lady suit. Her hair, although shorter, reminds me of Whitney Houston’s curly locks when she released her album titled Whitney in 1987. I’m sure members of that SACCO are satisfied by what they see in her even though time and again we know that they never get satisfied. Their modus operandi is usually, “onto the next one.”

The late Whitney Houston in 1987 when she released an album titled Whitney.

Image Credits: Pinterest.

Based on the instructions she gives us, I guess that she is the HR manager. I say so because she kept referring to a set of instructions that had been attached to the email inviting us to the aptitude test. She finally gives us the go ahead.

The test is to last for 40 minutes only, and it is composed of mathematical and observation questions. I know you are wondering what observation questions are. Okay, these are the questions that test one’s observation skills. For instance, you may be given a box full of words which are written in different colors, and you are instructed to observe the box carefully. Then after you answer three to four mathematical questions, you are asked to identify which one of the words are written with the wrong color. That’s a tough challenge, isn’t it?

As we continue solving the questions, some of the employees begin streaming in. I manage to find the opportunity to steal glances at them. Based on what I see, I can tell that there is a sense of freedom. It seems like the employees are given the liberty to operate based on their free will. It also seems like they are free to wear what they want. I am particularly impressed by one of them who is dressed in a pair of shorts and casual sandals. He drags himself to the coffee vending machine.

Focus! Bryan! Focus!

Back to the test. The questions are tough as that four-letter word. I regret saying that aptitudes are easy. Anyway, I encourage myself through adopting a positive mindset. At some points, I am forced to trust my gut feeling. Being a phlegmatic, I also use my sense of intuition in solving some questions. What motivates me to play Russian roulette with the questions is the long known trick of succeeding in any aptitude exam – finish all the questions.

“Chicago report coming in. I repeat, Chicago report coming in. Check mail. Over and out.”

A silken, sensuous, rumbling baritone voice is heard emanating from the room’s public address system. You know that kind of masculine voice that can make a lady’s knees to wobble like jelly? Yes, that’s what I’m talking about. I guess our sisters from another mother could not get enough of the voice. To put things clear, the voice sounded like Barry White’s (Do you really know what he did using his voice?). I guess they would have wished for him to talk on and on. Anyway, who am I to be quick to judge?

The late Barry White.

Image Credits: PRX

At the 40th minute, the chubby HR manager orders us to stop. From where I am, I can see that the room is half empty. I guess some of the contestants gave up on the way. But then again, who am I to be too quick to jump to extraneous conclusions? Well, blame it on my phlegmatic nature. What a relief!

To be continued……

[NB: The story is to be written in three phases].

Conejo

Do dreams mean something?

Image Credits: Courtesy

Have you ever woken up in the morning with a dozen-load of questions in your mind like Hell no! What was that? What did I just dream? Is that even me? Is that even possible?

Indeed, dreams take us away from reality, and that is what they are – dreams. If dreams were a reality, then everyone would be that millionaire, or that famous Hollywood actor, or that great politician. Likewise, everyone would own that jet, or that tower, or the latest Ferrari model. In short, if we were to live in dreamland, we would all have attained our desires.

Dreams are there to make life worth living. The dreams we experience at night while sleeping are a product of what lies in our subconscious. According to scientists, the subconscious is the most powerful portion of our brains. As a matter of fact, the subconscious is smarter than we might think. Most of the times, we feel that we are in control especially when our brains figure out puzzles or read words. However, we should understand that this capability comes from our conscious mind. We should also understand that the subconscious can prepare simple stimulus-response actions, deliver basic facts, recognize objects and carry out practiced movements hence perform functions that would prove a challenge to the conscious thought.

Importance of the Subconscious Mind

Humans daydream, and that is normal. However, we should not be carried away by the daydreams. During these sessions, we see ourselves in another state that we desire. To a large extent, this state is always contrary to our reality. At night, we lie down in our beds and also experience dreams. Indeed, dreams play a significant role in our lives. Georg Kaiser said, “If we couldn’t dream, our lives wouldn’t mean anything anymore.” Another great man said, “A life without dreams is like a garden without flowers.” So, dreams give meaning to life.

Image Credits: Pinterest

The reason for writing this blogpost is simple and a rather funny one. I had a weird dream that made me jerk out of my bed to try and find its meaning. I was roaming out and about in the countryside. I then entered grandpa’s house, and there I saw a rabbit that had just given birth to two kits. The kits were having a peaceful bonding session with their mother when suddenly a cat appeared and devoured one of the kits. I could feel a violent, uncontrollable anger rise within me in my sleep. I hit the cat using a hoe killing it instantly. Mysteriously, I found myself in the airport talking to a high school classmate who was then a pilot. We reminisced memories from school, and just as we were about to board the plane, I woke up. Nkt! Why do dreams have to come to an end during the intriguing moments?

Image Credits: Air Charter Service

After waking up, I set out to find the meaning of the dream, and this is what I discovered:

1. If you ever dream of vehicles whether it is a car, an airplane, a train or a ship, the vehicles in our dream can reflect what direction we feel our life is taking, and how much control we think we have over the path ahead of us. Vehicles can give us the power to make a transition and envision ourselves getting to our destination — or highlight the obstacles we think we are facing and need to work through (huffingtonpost.com).
2. Seeing other people in your dream often is a reflection of the different aspects of the self. The people in dreams can relate to characteristics that need to be developed. Specific people directly relate to existing relationships or interpersonal issues we need to work through (huffingtonpost.com).
3. Dreaming of a baby often represents something new: It might be a new idea, a new project at work, new development or the potential for growth in a specific area of our waking life (huffingtonpost.com). [In this case, I had a dream about baby rabbits].

Wow! Wonderful! Isn’t it? So the dream meant that I have control over the path that lies ahead of me and that I should reach out to that friend to help me take charge of the next phase of my life. On the rabbit dream, I concluded that I should start rabbit farming and that I should tackle head on all the obstacles that come my way as I match towards my destiny. Funny isn’t it?

Rabbit Farming

In as much as we are told not to struggle to make meaning out of a myriad of thoughts that cross our mind, I tend to disagree. My disagreement is based on the fact that it is through questioning of our lives that we can unlock ideas which we could never have imagined that we would be able to.

(Conejo is the Spanish name for a rabbit.)

Featured Image Credits: Anipedia.

 

Bon anniversaire

So, what is the best piece of advice you can ever give to a person celebrating their birthday? Or what inspiration or motivational talk can you give? Indeed, there is so much you can share with such a person. From telling them to plan, dream big and accomplish the impossible, to seizing every opportunity that comes their way. To others, you may advise them to live life to the fullest, travel the world and explore the undiscovered areas. To others, you may advise them to keep on keeping on with the good work especially if they are doing a commendable job.

Sample Birthday Advice

Image Credits: Technique Junkies

But, the big question is, what piece would you offer to the uninspired? To that young person who works tirelessly day-in-day-out devoting 100% to everything they do yet, they see no tangible result? I know you will say that they ought to hang in there, and that good things take time. Well well well! Ahem! They will say that if there is anything that motivates them each day is that someday they know that they will get it.

Image Credits: Pinterest

An individual’s birthday presents a favorable chance for them to turn over a new leaf. It also gives them the opportunity to review the year that has passed and see where they ought to rectify or enhance. I tend to view it as a time to conduct a SWOT analysis of one’s life. It is during the birthday that you will decipher your strengths and find ways to maximize on them. You will know your weaknesses and come up with a plan for minimizing them. You will probably look back and wonder why you did not grab that opportunity when it presented itself. In the end, you’ll look back and thank the Almighty for delivering you from hazardous moments that almost took your breath away.

Image Credits: PESTLE Analysis

Today is my birthday. After a stock take, I have come to look at this new year as a chance to practice kai zen.

Image Credits: mt.kaizen.com

I consider myself a Work-In-Progress. I choose to put in not 40%, not 75% but 100% in everything I do. As for commitment, this will be my principle: if I am in I am in, no dilly-dallying, no hesitation because I know that I am only as good as the chances I take.

Tom Cruise on commitment.

Image Credits: Courtesy

Too often, we are faced with situations where we are required to choose. For long, I have been battling with choosing: I always want it all. The “I want it all” mentality is driven by the “fear of missing out” on the benefits of the foregone option. I suppose I am not alone in this. However, I am still learning to stick to a decision till it bears fruit. I have come to appreciate the fact that I cannot be at two places at the same time and that is what makes me human. If at all I am to pursue two things, then it is better off when I delegate the other duty.

Image Credits: Frank Sonnenberg Online

Summing everything up, this year is a year of action, not hesitation. A year of focus, not divided attention. A year of constant improvement, not being a sloth. These are my goals. However, I am still in need of counsel for the scripture reminds me in Proverbs 11:14 (AMPC) that, “Where no wise guidance is, the people fall, but in the multitude of counselors there is safety,” and in Proverbs 19:20 (AMPC) that, “Hear counsel, receive instruction, and accept correction, that you may be wise in the time to come.”

So, please feel free to share your piece of advice with me at the comment box below.

Happy Birthday to me!