“…..checking on you…..”

“……….Hey there? Longtime! Hope you doing well. I’m good. Was just checking on you. And BTW Happy New Month!!……”

This is just a simple text that I receive each moment we usher in a new month. I value such texts regardless of whether we have had little contact with the person inboxing me. I appreciate the ‘checking on you’ messages.

On the other hand, I usually send the same type of ‘catching up’ messages to friends and associates. However, in other times, I send them inconsistently. With the advent of technology and more so WhatsApp and Telegram, I prefer to download images bearing the words ‘Happy New Month.’ I get straight to the point. To close friends, I write customized messages to wish them well in the coming month. To friends who I haven’t contacted in a long time, I usually start a little conversation just to check on how they are doing and also update them on how I am doing.

It is usually good to check on people around us. Nobody knows when their time on earth will be up. The unexpected always happens. In the current generation, it has become the norm for individuals to be united by death. It is during the burial of a relative that people get to catch up. I remember late last year when I attended the funeral of a high school mate, the need for catching up with schoolmates and more so classmates arose. A good way of doing so was knowing where each individual resides such that when you are around their neighborhood, you just give them a call and meet them for one to two minutes. Another way was to create WhatsApp groups where individuals could share ideas. The underlying factor was that we should not be united by the death of a comrade.

Death reminds us that we are just but passengers here on earth. The world is not our home. Having this in mind, it would be good to be at least catching up with individuals around us. Make it monthly, or even quarterly. For those close to us you can make it weekly or fortnightly. The rule of the thumb is to know the limits and also to understand the relationship between you and the individual you wish to text. We all need privacy. Moreover, we are wired differently, and as a result, not everyone enjoys chatting. Just hit them up with a conclusive statement like the one shared above. You could start today since tomorrow is a new month. Go through your contact list and identify those people you haven’t contacted in a long time. Get to know how they are doing and also tell them how you are doing.

Happy catching up!

How to be single

Is there really a way to be single? Yes, there are two ways actually, the right way and the wrong way. We spend so much time looking for the right person and many times our hearts end up breaking into many small pieces at the end of a relationship. What we haven’t realized is that we need to learn how to be independent and discover ourselves before we let ourselves be with someone else.

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Being single does not mean you are lonely but it just means you have more time to live your dreams the best way you know without anyone confining you in a certain line of thought. It also means you have time to spend with your friends and enjoy your hobbies more. The thing about dating is that whether you like it or not, you will always want to make your partner happy, and sometimes that means compromising some things you love. If you are okay with that, then go you! And find things you enjoy together.

 

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But singlehood brings about some sense of freedom and a sense of knowing yourself better. If you use that freedom accordingly then loneliness will not even hit you. You will realize how much you can accomplish by yourself and whilst at that, you will meet someone, they may not be like you, but you will appreciate the differences between the two of you because you now understand that you are at your best when you do you. And while at that, we get time and a chance to develop a deeper connection with God. You also get to figure that He is the only one who can love you unconditionally with all your flaws. With this in mind, you develop a sense of self-confidence and you start to fathom the fact that you do not have to please anyone. You also get to enjoy the benefits of a loving Father, my favorite is some kind of Peace that surpasses all human understanding accompanied by immense joy within, such that everything in your life falls into place. Also, you get some grace to go through the hardest times of your life without having to rely on a boyfriend or girlfriend. So if you ask me, being single is not a bad thing. It is not about making your ex jealous rather it is about bettering yourself. It is about learning how to live alone. It is also about getting to know and choose your friends.

 

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So if you are out there feeling like the world has come to an end just because you got dumped, or you dumped someone but it feels like you were dumped or you are fine but you do not know how to live without someone, life has just started for you. Sit and think what you want to be and start living like the person you want to be. Be confident and put your game face on. You ain’t the first to be single and you probably won’t be the last.

Image credits: youtube, compassionateman, girldefined, pinterest (2) respectively

Authored by #JJ